The Grace of Graphing Your Life

 Photo Credit: KrzysztofB

Shortly after I graduated from college, I took a job at a nonprofit organization: a live-in treatment center for children suffering the aftermath of abuse and neglect.

There is one staff meeting I will never forget.

During this particular meeting, the program director explained how he had created a computer-based behavior tracking system for the children. 

A tracking system. It seemed so cold to me. I listened intently to the director's presentation.

The tracking system, he explained, worked like this: The live-in caretakers ("house parents") would create a nightly report detailing how each child had behaved that day.

To streamline the process, the house parents would use shorthand codes. There were codes for bad behaviors-- tantrums, running away, talking back, etc.-- and for good behaviors-- helping another child, taking responsibility, finishing homework, etc.

When house parents entered the codes consistently over time, the tracking system could show the daily, weekly, or even monthly ebbs and flows of a child's behavior.

Again, I doubted. Can a computer really provide insight into the heart of a hurting child?

Well, it turns out that it can.

According to the program director, the tracking system actually helped the house parents recognize and reward progress. The house parents could see declines in tantrums, fights, and other undesirable behaviors... as well as increases in healthy actions. This meant that they could offer specific praise.

Keep in mind that, with these hurting children, progress could be more difficult to see. Perhaps a child threw two tantrums during a given week. It sounds discouraging...until you realize that he threw five tantrums the week prior, and six tantrums two weeks ago. 

Sometimes, when the spirit is struggling, it's important to search for even the tiniest ember of success.

Second, the computer program could help house parents recognize correlations.

The program director held up a sheet of jagged lines-- one boy's particularly bad week in graph form.

"Do you see this week? This spike in undesirable behaviors?" the program director asked. "Well it turns out that, during this week, the boy's mom went to jail."

The room fell silent.

And sometimes we must understand the bigger picture-- the 'why'-- when we find we've slipped yet again.

I may not need a computer program or special codes, but I know in my heart that I could benefit from taking a simple snapshot of each day and reflecting upon it with Jesus.

Especially when the successes seem few.

The practice of a daily conscience examination can seem cold and overly scrupulous.

In reality, it has the potential to open a floodgate of blessings.

I'm writing this entry to myself more than anyone.  

Have you incorporated a daily conscience examination into your routine? Would you like to?

K.I.S.S.: Simple Meal Planning

Photo Credit: Plattmunk

"K.I.S.S." (Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!): An on-going series of ideas to bring simplicity, structure, and serenity into the home.

Creating a weekly meal plan is one of my newer endeavors. 

It began a few months ago, when I realized that my husband and I were eating the same meals nearly every day (What can I say? He's not picky!)-- and that our health would likely benefit from a little variety. With the birth of Elise, it also became clear that my previous approach to cooking-- surveying the fridge and throwing something together minutes before a meal-- would no longer work. I needed a plan. 

Through much trial and error, I believe I've found a meal planning approach that works for me... And, through the process, I've learned a lot about what works for me in general: I need simplicity, flexibility, and balance in my daily tasks!

I tried to begin my meal planning mission by flipping through cookbooks and searching popular food websites and blogs. The results were surprising. Instead of finding healthy, simple meals, I found myself blown off course by information overload. 

When I finally shut the books and closed the twenty five open windows on my computer screen, a small whisper in my heart reminded me a of a profound truth: The best plans begin and end with God. 

With that preface, I'd like to share a new approach, step by step:

1. Consult with God.
Have you ever noticed that today's cookbooks look utterly exquisite? A quick flip-through might reveal pictures of a gleaming, golden roasted chicken cradled in sprigs of hand-tied herbs, or a layered cake smothered in impressionist swipes of frosting and perched on an antique porcelain stand. These lovely images (and, perhaps, their ability to arouse a growling stomach) possess an allure that could call us off track if we're not careful. It's tempting to see pictures of coq au vin with asparagus risotto and want to serve that for dinner. 

But, we must ask ourselves, "What is my present vocation?" In other words, "What is God calling me to do today in my real life?"

For me, the answer to that question (besides being a child of God, which is our constant vocation) is being a wife to Louis, a mother to a nursing, teething 5-month old, a daughter to my parents, a sibling to my sister and brother, a friend to my friends, etc.

The next question, then, involves time. We must ask, "In light of my vocation, how much time does God want me to spend preparing meals?" The answer to this question will vary from person to person. Perhaps you are a person who finds cooking to be a positive outlet, and your vocation allows you to carve out ample time in the kitchen. In this case, it's conceivable that cooking more advanced recipes could line up with God's present will for your life. Or, if you're like me-- a person who doesn't enjoy cooking-- and your vocation limits your kitchen time, perhaps it isn't in line with your vocation to cook recipes that require a lot of time and attention.

Photo Credit: Barnaby

2. Pick recipes that fit your needs and lifestyle.
Once I developed a general idea about the amount of time and involvement I wanted to dedicate to cooking, I determined the number of recipes I would need per week. I've found that 4-5 large meals will suffice for my family, depending on our schedule. If you're wondering how we make it on so few meals, I should note that my husband and I don't eat a traditional dinner (I'll blog about this soon) and that the recipes I'm choosing usually feed 6-8 (plenty of leftovers!).

Before choosing my recipes, I also decided to limit my resources. So, I thinned out my cookbook collection and bookmarked a few key recipe websites. Because I like the convenience that my slow cooker offers, I chose cookbooks and websites that are heavy on slow cooker recipes. Casseroles, too... I love the ease!

When it comes to picking the actual recipes, I've learned to ask three simple questions:

• First, the obvious: Is it something my family will like?
• Second: Is it healthy, and does it meet the special dietary needs of my family? For example, I am extremely sensitive to sugar, white flour, and white starches-- and whenever I try to convince myself that I can handle the 3 cups of sugar/ white rice/ etc., I always end up regretting it! Therefore, any recipe that requires these ingredients beyond my tolerable limits is rejected unless I can make substitutes (agave nectar for sugar; brown rice for white; etc.).
• Third: How involved is the recipe, and do I have the time to make it?  When I look at a new recipe, I skim the instructions for prep work and cooking. If it seems overly complicated, I reject it or file it for special occasions. 

Even if a recipe meets these three criteria, it won't always make the permanent cut-- for example, if the recipe calls for an ingredient is prohibitively expensive (like the $8 dried mushrooms I bought last week... Oops!).

Now that I've been meal planning for a few weeks, I have several "go-to" recipes that I intend to make on a regular basis. When I'm finished moving, I'd like to print them out and place them in a recipe binder for easy access.

I have seen many great meal planning sheets around the blogosphere, but I've found that I don't really need a sheet-- just my grocery list and meal ideas recorded in my weekly planner.

 Photo Credit: Bubbels

 3. Fine-tune when necessary.

Sometimes when I make plans, I become too attached to them-- even if they no longer suit my lifestyle. I'm slowly learning that when the stuff of life happens, it's perfectly acceptable to come up with a "good enough" plan. 

Last summer I experienced morning sickness so severe that it kept me in my pajamas for nearly three months. If this happens to me again someday, I obviously can't expect myself to maintain my meal planning as usual. I still will need a plan-- just a "good enough" plan, or a plan to accept help. I should not allow false guilt to consume me when the normal plan needs to change.

 

Photo Credit: Garytamin

4. Check in with God-- a lot.
We humans can be tempted to fashion any simple thing into an idol... Even cooking. It's funny to step back and think about what cooking actually is-- to throw out any mental images of Martha Stewart and the Barefoot Contessa and get back to the Merriam-Webster simplicity of it all. To cook is to prepare food so it is safe and perhaps a bit more delicious to eat. That's it. 

Simple things can become idols, but with God those same simple things can become opportunities for prayer and channels of grace and blessing. St. Paul thought so when he told the Corinthians, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."


Happy meal planning, friends!

Weekend Link Love

Photo Credit: Gastonmag

The above photo resembles my apartment at the moment. Not kidding! The packing progress (and the subsequent neat stacking of  packed boxes) has been slow going. But, it's to be expected. I'm nursing on-demand, and Louis is busy chipping away at his master's thesis. I'm glad I started packing early!

I've been learning a lot this week and feel full of words (which I hope to share sometime soon... Again, I apologize for the lack of posts!)

Now, onto the links... Isn't it funny how God sometimes communicates to us in "themes"-- as if there's a recurring sentence or a general message that sums up what He's trying to tell us during a given season?? Yeah, I seem to be in the midst of one of those times.

Two of my favorite bloggers are helping me remember my current theme... I'm deeply grateful for their honesty and insight.

"Velveteen Me," A Series  @ In The Heart of My Home...Thank you, Elizabeth!

Sovereignty, Sickness, & Strength @ Shaun Groves

-Kelly

An Introduction to K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

 Photo Credit: esrasu

Recently, I've discovered the beauty of simplicity. Simplicity is my God-given anchor-- keeping me steady through the toss of anxiety's waves...and keeping me realistic when perfectionism's mirage beckons in the distance.

I've been trying to re-examine the majority of my daily tasks through the lens of simplicity. How can I adjust my expectations? What plans or routines could double as safeguards for my peace of mind?

Whenever I discover a plan that works for me, I'll blog about it and post it under the "K.I.S.S." label: "Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!"

Already, this has become a new mantra for my daily life... I'm looking forward to sharing more with you!